Been a while...

Been away for a while and I haven't blogged for a while. I haven't had any proper human connection since Wednesday night. I wasn't sick (was a bit but that's a different thing). The two most important people in the world to me (Yemi and Coco) fell sick at the same time.

Coco started first. Yemi and I took her to the clinic and she was felling a bit better and we took her back to dorm. That evening, she refused to eat or take her drugs. She pissed me off and I left her. That evening while with Yemi and his friends, he had an attack. He kinda fainted in the middle of cafe. Dayo and some other people took him to clinic where he was writhing in pain. About ten minutes later, Coco was brought in by other people. The situation almost made me crazy. Both of them where writhing in pain and all I could do or say is "Sorry". I felt useless.

Coco was released on Friday and Yemi was released in Saturday (yesterday). I'm so happy that they are so much better and I hope nothing happens again. This experience almost caused me to fall deathly ill (thank God that didn't happen) If anything like this happens again, I probably will be next to them on the hospital bed in pain.

Fausat

Labake

Deola

Pandora's Box

Do you guyz know the Greek myth about Pandora's box? If you do, you will understand what my post this morning is all about. If you don't, lemme give a bit of history.

In Greek mythology, Pandora was the first woman. The Gods created her by giving her unique gifts and all. To cut the story short, she was given this box (it was actually a jar but we have modernized the story) in which she should never open. Pandora reminded me of myself here. Never tell me not to do something or else i will do it. It's called curiosity. She opened the box later and unleashed many terrible things on mankind,illness, toils, famine. She tried closing it back but it couldn't be done. As she cried, a little wisp of smoke came out. It was hope. It told her not to cry that hope would be there to help all of mankind through all the toils and troubles she opened on them.

Sorry, it's kinda long but you have to get the story before you will understand my problem. In my mind, I had a box. Sealed and never to be opened again. That box contained memories of my past relationship (Ismaila). Last night, I had to open the box to help someone (more on that later). All the memories that I had vowed never to think about again flooded my brain. It was like a cd player that had no stop button. I tried to block it out, but it didn't work.

How do you burn memories in your brain?

Like Pandora, I tried my best to close it but it was too late. It was already out there and there was no way of cramming memories back into the box. Like Pandora too, I had hope. Yemi represents hope to me. Though he didn't know what was really wrong with me, I know he will always be there for me.

I'm still trying to close the box. Memories are like that. They are always there. You can push them at the back of your mind but once you open the box, it's as fresh as the first time.

Fausat

Labake

Deola

A free Monday

Yup! There's no school today. The Lamido of Adamawa state died yesterday and in honor to pay respects for him, no classes. I never knew there was a Lamido of Adamawa. The school had arranged for students to go to the palace and give condolences. I'm not going. There is no water and besides, I'm too lazy to get out of bed.

Paramore is my all time favorite band. The lead singer, Haley Williams, is so so cool!!! She has bright orange hair and her song writing rocks! There new album, Brand New Eyes, just speaks to my soul. Each song on that album just relates to me and here is why:-

1. Ignorance-Reminds of some friends, they don't know the truth and sit in their own little world. Being ignorant about the world and the realities around them.

My favorite line from the song, "Ignorance is your new best friend"

2. Brick by Boring Brick-Reminds me some friends again, but this time, they build up these lies and keep themselves in this high place where they think they can't be touched. It's a matter of time before the castle falls all around them.

My favorite line from the song, "Make sure to build your house brick by boring brick or the wolves gonna blow it down"

3. The Only Exception-Reminds me of Yemi. He is the only exception. I never really believed in love. My parents helped me in that department. (Story for another day)

My favorite lines,"You are the only exception" "Leave me with proof that this is not a dream"

4.Misguided Ghosts-about leaving your comfort zone and going to find yourself. I don't think I have found my inner self yet and one day I know I have to leave to do that.

My favorite line, "I am told that this is life, pain is just a simple compromise, so we can get what we want out of it"

5.All I Wanted-About a love relationship on the rocks. All she wanted out of it was him. All I want is him.

My favorite lines,"All I wanted was you" "Wake up early to black and white reruns that escape from my mouth" "I can follow you to the beginning just to relive the start"

6.Playing God-Reminds me of my Mom and a particular person. About being a hypocrite and seeing your self as being all mighty and perfect.

My favorite lines, "Next time you point a finger, I'll have to bend it back or break it, break it off"

I also love the second verse-

"If God's the game that you're playing

Well we must get more acquainted

Because it has to be so lonely

To be the only one who's holy

It's just my humble opinion

But it's one that I believe in

You don't deserve a point of view

If the only thing you see is you"

7. Turn it off-About finding out that the safe place you are in, that person you trusted so much, has a lot of demons hiding inside. Found that out about some people a while ago.

My favorite line, "The worst part is that before it gets any better, we are heading for a cliff, in the free fall I'll realize that I'm better off at the bottom."

8. Feeling Sorry-About trying to hook up with that past flame, who is fronting. You can't continue feeling sorry, it's their loss. I have never been in this situation before but believe me if he is fronting, then I'm moving on.

My favorite line, "I feel no sympathy, you live inside a cave" "There is nothing to apologize, i'm really tired of feeling sorry."

9. Looking up-About how things in life are getting better. My life is getting better, way way way better.

My favorite line, "Things are looking up, finally, I thought I'd never see the day, where you'd smile at me"

So that ends my post about Paramore, the best band in the world.

Fausat

Labake

Deola

My Weekend

The weekend has ended and Monday looms. My weekend has been... interesting, yeah thats the word.

Friday-consisted of me and Yemi having a long since overdue conversation about some issues we have. I hate having conversations like this and I tend to avoid them but that just causes more problems. After we finished, we joined 4:18 members in video gaming in cafeteria. They are having a gaming competition and to promote it, they bring four big LCD TVs, PS3s and Xbox's so that people can play and register. I love playing fighting games, Street Fighter, Soul Calibur, Takean (i cant spell it well but you get my point) and wresting. My brother is the soul reason I play fighting games. We are the only two children from my mom and my brother needed someone to play against. Right now, i play like a guy though i don't beat all the guys i play against but i'm learning.

Saturday-Spent some of it in bed. I went to bed by 3 and I woke up by 8. I don't know why my body system is going out of wack but i still slept again till like 12. When i woke up, i had this feeling that i just HAD to be with Yemi. He was still sleeping and i had to wait for him to wake up. So I waited for him to wake up and he came online. He told me he was hungry and I made a meal of indomine for him. Went over with it and we spent some time together. I felt so close to him again. We were just watching Supernatural together on his and that's all I needed to feel close to him. From there, we went to Paul Avenza's house off campus. Every Saturday, 4:18 members with some friends go to his house and let loose. Me and Yemi found a semi-empty room and had a serious make-out session. Around 3:30, he had an attack. I was so scared. Effiong (4:18 member), packed all of us into Paul's jeep (another 4:18 guy) and we all went to school. Dropped me in my dorm and Yemi in his dorm. I was so tired that I fell asleep with my clothes on.


So that's how I roll (lol). Yemi is better now and I'm going to see him later. I have to find something to do or eles I'm going to die of boredom.

P.S- I finally have a signature.

Fausat

Labake

Deola

Tests....

This week in the space of three days, I had five tests. My brain is still trying to recover from it. After writing all these tests, i excepted some good scores. Well, i didn't get what i wanted. I try to push myself to read and pass but this just means i have to work harder. Below are the monster tests and the scores i received for them:-


INF 201- I'm not saying this cos I'm too sad
CMD 232- 75%- was the highest in class but still not my best
CMD 220- 43 :(
CMD 208- 84 (everybody says the score is probably wrong so im goin to meet him later)
CIV 101- Don't know yet but i hope it's good

So this just means i really, really have to work hard. I know when assignments come, i am going to do better.

Fav love song....

I've ranted this morning about my key and stuff. I was just listening to my iTunes when it hit on a song, "The Only Exception" by Paramore. Firstly, i love this band, they are so cool. Secondly, the song reminds me about Yemi. It's my favorite love song and immediately i heard it, i calmed down and i'm no more angry. It just reminded me of him.

Yemi Jimoh is the only exception.....

RANT!!!!

I'M HERE TO RANT, SHOUT, SCREAM OR CALL IT WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!

i FREAKING CAN'T FIND MY KEY. I'M CLUMSY AND SOMETIMES FORGETFUL, BUT I KNOW WHERE I KEEP MY THINGS. MY KEY WAS WITH ME ON MY BED STAND LAST NIGHT AND NOW IT'S GONE!!! I SEARCHED EVERYWHERE FOR IT AND STILL COULDN'T FIND IT. WOKE UP THIS MORNING, WENT TO THE DORM ASSISTANT AND SHE SAID 'COME BACK LATER, YOU WOKE ME UP" IS THAT MY FAULT?!?! FUCKING COME AND OPEN MY FUCKING WARDROBE. NOW IVE MISSED MY FIRST CLASS BECAUSE I WOKE THE PRINCESS UP. FUCK HER!!! FUCK THE PERSON THAT TOOK MY KEY!!! IF IT WHO I THINK IT IS, THAT BITCH HAS IT COMING. I SWEAR I WILL BITCH SLAP AND ASS-WOOP THAT THING! FOR THE FIRST TIME I WILL BEAT SOMEONE IN THIS SKOOL!!! GIVE ME MY KEY BACK YOU BITCH!!!!

That felt much, much better! But still, i'm not happy. :(

This thing sef....

For a while now, i have been experiencing alot of pain on my left side. Near my heart but not exactly there, u get? What da fu*k is wrong with me.....this pain is so bad that i didn't go to class on Friday because of it (no this is not an excuse, i'm actually serious). Yemi is like i should go to the doctor but what am i going to say "Excuse me doctor, i have side pain." Thats the only thing and the doctor will just give me pain killers. I want to know the cause. It's actually really annoying. AGGG!!!!

Wish me luck as i try not to die.....OUCH!!!

New Week...

Hello all!!!
So it's Monday again and a new week means new things, new challenges.....I have four tests in the space of two days and i hope not to suffer major brain damage from the notes i shall be cramming in my brain.

This weekend was a bit annoying....Yemi got drunk as hell and it was annoying. He was walking up and down, saying rubbish and i had to help. I've been drunk before and he helps but i actually feel his pain. I haven't gotten drunk since the beginning of this semester and i don't intend on getting drunk at all. I wish he would stop drinking, it's bad for his heart.

His heart. Yemi has been thinking so much about his condition and its really affecting me. I want to be there for him but yet not smother him. I want him to understand that i will be there for him no matter what. I want him to do the surgery but there is a 50 50 percent chance of it working. I want him to be fixed....i hate that he is in pain so much. When he was in the hospital like a few weeks ago, i wrote so much (i write poems and notes down about current situations happening). I cried so much....it's as if i'm the one in pain and not him. I want him to get better. I love him so much

So what am i going to do about it? I'll try to convince him to do the surgery and go to India. His friend Aliu, went there for his surgery and now he's better. Because of the surgery thing, he could transfer and leave AUN. I don't want that to happen but if it is for him to get better, then he should leave. I don't want him to leave but......it's for his health. When the time comes, i will have to let go and that i know will be the hardest thing i will ever have to do.

Dis feeling.....

I hate being alone. When i say that people think i can't stay without being in a relationship. Why don't people look beyond the surface and read between the lines?

When i mean, "i hate being alone', i hate it when i have this feeling of, 'everyone's is gone and they left me behind' or me sitting alone doing nothing. The feeling of the walls closing in on you or the emptiness you see in a room scare the sh!t out of me. I used to be anorexic and during the winter holidays i started relapsing...because i was feeling alone.

Sometimes you can feel so alone in a crowd. Sometimes you can be having the time of your life and you suddenly realize that something is just wrong. Sometimes you can be so alone, tears cannot comfort you. I've felt so alone before, i went to the bathroom at intervals to cry. At that moment, you don't need a relationship to make you feel whole, you don't need friend to help you. You need to look within yourself and dig yourself out of that hole. It might be hard but once you do that, you won't feel so lonely anymore. The world you looked at with so much sadness and grief will turn into a happy place again.

The Best boyfriend in the world!!!

When people read this title they will be like, "mine's the best" and more stuff like dat. But believe me, i think Yemi Jimoh is the best boyfriend ever!!! Why do i say that???

Yesterday, i went to do my hair and i dragged him along to the salon with me. He didn't want to go but in the end he agreed and came with me. He was bored and his Ipod was not working. So he just sat there and waited for me to finish my hair.His female friends came to do their hair and they left before me. My hair would naturally take like 2 or 3 hours to do. But some complications came up from the weave and the long line of people. So it took 6 hours to do my hair. And guess what? He waited. He stayed in the salon for me!!! I could see the anger and the boredom on his face as i was doing it. After everything, he gave me a smile and said "It was worth the wait"

What more do i want???

I love Yemi Jimoh!!!